First visit to Tiruvannamalai

I first visited Tiruvannamalai on 21 July 2018. At that time I was in Bangalore on temporary work and on that Saturday I decided to go. It would take 5 hours bus journey one way; I thought I will start in early morning and would be back by late night. I started out from Christ college bus-stand waiting for one of the TNSTC green striped and wooden floored busses. I could not read Tamil, so I took help of some of the fellow passengers at bus-stop to identify the bus for me. Once in, I luckily got the seat; the bus was nearly full and I still remember the faces of the conductor and driver. I don't remember much about the journey except that I was constantly chanting Sri Ramana's name and as Tiruvannamalai approached I was so eager to see Arunachala for the first time from the bus. When I saw that beautiful and still hill with the notch that is visible while coming from the north-west side it created stillness and feeling of reverence in my mind. It was one of the most peaceful experiences to have Arunachala in my sight, it was like being face to face with divinity itself. 

Upon reaching Tiruvannamalai I first visited the main temple of the town - the Annamalaiyar temple or the Arunachaleshwar temple. Sri Ramana also made this temple his abode for first few months after arriving in Tiruvannamalai in 1896. It was afternoon and the main shrine - the inner most one with the presiding deity - was closed for darshan. Temple courtyard was open and I went inside. It was hot afternoon and I was walking on heated up stones of the huge temple courtyard. I recognized the thousand pillared hall immediately. This was one of the places where Bhagavan stayed. A part of this hall is now renovated and and there is Sri Ramana's portrait at the entrance. However when I went it was not renovated and I saw it in its old glory. It was almost empty and there were painted plaques made from sheet metal affixed on the walls where Sri Ramana stayed or sat. 'Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi stayed here when he came to Tiruvannamalai' or something like that was written on those white colored plaques in long blue colored letters in English. Approaching one corner where one of the plaques was fixed, tears started to veil up in my eyes and my head became heavy. It is hard to describe this experience but my mind totally froze and became still for few precious minutes. I cried at that place feeling and touching those very stones where Bhagavan would have once rested on. I felt lucky that on this ordinary afternoon, I am getting to come near to places that God himself inhabited more than a century ago. It was like coming to home or to an anchor-point of life. I remember I sat down in that corner just meditating for few minutes on Sri Ramana. Then I went to Patala lingam shrine which is underground in the thousand pillared hall. I had read that Bhagavan lived for many days (when he was 16 year old boy) so deep in Samadhi in this shrine and that insects started to crawl over his body and started to eat his legs that people had to physically extract him out of it. Again I felt tears in my eyes and I couldn't help crying when I saw this small beautiful and unassuming underground temple. These were some of the most significant moments of my life so far.

Then I came to Sri Ramanasramam and I had first darshan of Sri Bhagavan. I felt deeply impacted by the whole atmosphere of the Ashram. I remember I entered the New Hall and towards my right there was Sri Ramana's seated statue carved out of black stone. Behind it was the black marble Simhasana. I arrived and stood in front of him in New Halll with my hands folded, uttering his name in my mind, thanking him for bringing me there and inspiring me to make that journey; submitting my life to him; this was an event I won't ever forget. Then I did darshan at the mother's temple (Matrubhuteshwara temple - Sri Ramana's mother's Samadhi shrine), sat in dark on stone seating area behind huge doors of the temple listening to chanting and sounds inside. It was a great meditative experience. Then I entered the large Samadhi Hall full of light and space via the door that opened in it from the New Hall (I didn't know these places' names and their history when I first visited - but later during my readings I came to know) and stood there in front of Sri Ramana's Samadhi shrine for few minutes praying and observing his golden hued image. True silence of the mind and glimpses of what my new life could be were surrounding me from all sides. Then I sat down in that hall resting my back on the wall and tried to meditate and be silent. I was able to see each and every thought arising in my mind with total detachment as if I had become a third person and watching my older self. My head's left part (which was facing the Samadhi) felt heavy and I felt something was changing inside of it in almost physical manner. I felt as if it was being pulled by an invisible force emanating from the Samadhi shrine. I sat there in that state for an hour or so in deeply peaceful concentration, detached from my life, and grounded. It is hard to describe this experience in words. 

When I came back to my hotel room that late night in Bangalore after a tiring bus journey, I was a changed man. I knew something significant had just happened on that day; that which always meant to happen in my life. I felt something was done to me that was my destiny. It was the intense start of a major change process inside me that is still going on and will continue till I reach my destination. 

How I came to do Girivalam?

I had read about Girivalam - that is pradakshina of Arunachala - the 14km walk around the mountain - usually done barefoot and especially on full moon day. But somehow it didn't register in my mind and somehow I never felt compelled to do it. Maybe I was merely cerebral and was obviously thinking how a long walk around Arunachala could be any different? It had been almost a year since I started visiting Tiruvannamalai. Most times I would visit the Ashram, spend few hours there and return back or occasionally spend the night, spend few hours at the Ashram next morning too and return back. Sometimes I would scale Arunachala partially and visit Skandasramam or Virupakshi cave. Then during one of my visits, I met three guys from Bangalore with whom I shared the return bus journey. It was Sunday evening and all busses were going packed and we all were in similar boat - so to speak - in hurry to get to Bangalore. We even contemplated doing a Taxi to Bangalore, but luckily we got the bus and the seats in last row. During talk with them one of the guys very mysteriously asked me 'Have you done Girivalam?' I said no. Then in couple of sentences he propounded its virtues in such a way that my mind must have unconsciously decided to experience it once. The seed of inspiration was planted in me that day.

Often times I take decisions at spur of moment. One such day was 18 May 2019. It was Saturday and a full moon day. It was around 5 in the evening and I was generally bored - lazing around at home. Suddenly it occurred to me that it is full moon and I remembered that guy's talk about Girivalam. But it was evening already and if I start now I will reach around 11 pm at Tiruvannamalai. However it was said that many people did Girivalam on full moon night, I was not sure if today was that night (as Tamil calendar is slightly different and I was not sure if it was the Pournami for Girivalam that day) and what do we mean by 'many' people? Nevertheless, I decided and started out within half an hour, went to the electronic city toll gate where I usually catch the bus. Busses are plenty all time round and I got in one of them. I realized that it was the full moon day of Girivalam when the bus made its final stop almost 1 km out of Tiruvannamalai near some large ground instead of going to the bus-stand in the town. I got down and started walking in dark with my fellow passengers in the direction where everyone seemed to go. There were hundreds of busses stopped on the way just like mine but I was not knowing where am I or which part of Tiruvannamalai I was in, I was just following the crowd. It must have been around 1 km before I got to the main road that is Girivalam path. I thought this must have been the same main road that enters Tiruvannamalai when arriving from Bangalore. It was brightly lit with streetlights but it was unrecognizable as it was full of people walking and all vehicular traffic was stopped. I could not even see through the mass of people to the other side of the road clearly so that I could guess where was I! It was an atmosphere of a walking fair. Food and refreshment stalls abound, loud speakers chanting 'Om namah shivay' and thousands of people quietly bustling barefoot under this beautiful full moon at midnight! I joined the stream of people and I was transported to a different world. For some moments, I could not believe that such place existed on earth and wondered why I didn't know this before? I felt this itself should be big news that people walk all night - that too in thousands - that too on every full moon - in this small town of south India - shouldn't that be big news and well known? - but no - it doesn't matter - you are here - now experience this. I was experiencing Tamil people's simple and yet deep religiousness and spirituality. Entire families, groups of friends, groups of unknowns, ascetics and eccentrics all were walking together, either chanting 'Om namah shivay' or quietly, on barefoot or with shoes on. Some people were taking rest on benches lined up on the way or on the paved footpaths. But most of the time a constant stream of humanity was flowing endlessly around the mountain which itself stood as a huge dark shadow under the full moon.

I don't recall if I ever had slept on the road or footpath before in my life, but after walking a while, tired, I layed down on the footpath like others while thousands still kept walking behind me on the road. It was around 2 am and I was lying down, facing Arunachala on inner footpath watching beautiful full moon and bright Jupiter conjunction along with the dark shadowy peak of Arunachala. Cool surface wind with its small turbulences was blowing just above the footpath and over my body. Around me other pilgrims, my brothers, were also resting just like myself. I, a product of this earth, was sleeping in lap of this earth as close as I can get to her. It is hard to describe the feeling of connectedness and harmony that I experienced in that half an hour or so on that footpath on summer night.